If you weren’t aware, 3 weeks ago I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. It was a positive birth all in all (birth story coming soon!) and I thought I would try and do post partum updates as we go along.
We’ll start off with my baby girl. Ellie is doing really well. We’ve had all our midwife appointments and have been discharged from midwife care. She only lost 3oz of her birth weight by day 5 which had all been put put back on and then some by day 10. She’s not the best sleeper at night and we are having a few difficulties there which we are working through. We also think she suffers with colic and might also be a tad constipated. Last week we had to take her to the GP because she had spent 5 hours screaming through the night and hadn’t had a dirty nappy in 5 days. Since then we’ve had a few dirty nappies but she does seem to go at least 2-3 days in between. Only when you become a parent does talking abut poo become normal!
Ellie is changing day by day and I already can’t wait for the first milestones – the first smile, the first laugh and when she can interact with us.
Onto my recovery. It’s up and down to be honest. Let’s start with the downs and end this post on a high. First off, physically. My scar is taking longer this time to heal compared to my section with Alex. I think this must be down to having to run around after a toddler this time as well as looking after a baby. I decided to jump on the scales for the first time since May last year and I’m a stone lighter than I was then! That means that I am lighter coming out of pregnancy than I was going into it! Onwards and upwards there!
And mentally? It’s not been the best. I’ve been extremely weepy. Everyone knows about the baby blues, but they only last that first week at most. I haven’t shown any signs of stopping my teary days as yet. PND is definitely lingering and I’m trying my hardest to fight it and keep it at bay but if I’m being completely honest, I’m struggling. And it’s very difficult to ask for help. It’s like it’s a sign of weakness. Like I can’t look after my own children. The reality is, those difficult moments where you have your toddler testing boundaries and your newborn crying for what seems like hours, when it’s actually only 5 minutes, feel like the whole world is crumbling around you and you feel like you can’t cope and start questioning why you ever thought you could do this whole parenting malarkey for a second time and this time with 2 to look after as well as yourself.
I need to make sure that I keep an eye on my mood and how I’m feeling and make sure that the first sign of things getting worse that I make an appointment to see my GP.
As for the positive side, I’m loving having a newborn around again. It’s really nice having a newborn and a toddler as I feel like I get the best of both worlds (even if that does come with the worst of both worlds too). It might not seem like much but my two children take up the most room in my heart and most of the time I’m beaming with pride that thee two beautiful human beings are my own. Me and Tim together are raising these gorgeous kind hearted people and I love them very much.