Recently I was referred by my GP to Shropshire Psychological Services. I had a couple of phone calls with someone who asked me to do a questionnaire to determine my score for depression and anxiety. I scored severe for both, being in the top bracket for the anxiety. I had another diagnosis for postpartum depression (anxiety comes under this in the UK, whereas the US have postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety). It was at this point I was referred to a therapist to try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
Friday last week I had my first appointment with a therapist named Rebecca. She’s a mum of 2 herself so I felt like she understood how I was feeling. The first appointment was a talking one. Talking about me, when I most feel anxious and my past (jobs, school etc) amongst other things.
I didn’t think I would open up as much as I did! I really surprised myself. It was while I was talking about everything that I had been through in school, in the various jobs I’ve had as well as other aspects of my life that Rebecca mentioned that it looks like everything started way back in school. I don’t feel like I had many friends. Or maybe I did but I just didn’t think that anyone could truly like me. On top of that I then had a really rough first job, straight out of school.
I’m feeling cautiously optimistic about CBT and what it can do for me. I have another appointment on Friday and will likely be having weekly appointments for some time. I’d like to try and post about how things are going each week, about my progress as well as an insight to what actually goes on during a CBT session as its not like counselling. I’d also really like to try and change the stigma surrounding mental health, I sometimes think people feel like it’s a sign of weakness when they feel they have to be strong.